Funny New Job Quotes

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“And now… You’re hired! You did amazing and paint the town red! Good luck with your new job!” 

“Good luck with your new job. May I suggest you go to lunch with people this time and pretend you like them?”

“The most important part of starting a new job is identifying which coworker to blame my lack of productivity on.”

“Now that you have a job, you can pay back all your debts. I only accept cash. Congratulations on the new job, bro!”

“If your new job were a person, he would feel lucky to have you. Congratulations.” 

“Here’s to your new job and no one finding out how much you lied on your application.”

“Your previous employer’s gain is your new employer’s loss. Congrats on your new job.”

“May your new job make you a billionaire so that we can party at your expense. Congrats.”

“The unspoken secret to success is to master the art of delegating work and pretending to look busy. Congratulations on your new job.”

“Good luck with your new job and dealing with a brand new batch of less attractive women who will be perpetually jealous of you.”



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